Safety Inspection

Here I am disarming a bomb.

Before the end of the month my truck is due for safety inspection. There's really nothing safe about my truck, especially since I just spent the whole morning working on it. If there is any safety feature on it, it's that a lot of the time it doesn't work and therefore can't be a menace to the general public on the roadways. The most dangerous thing, according to the safety inspection, is that the horn doesn't work.

I'm not too sure what the horn is even good for. I obviously never use it and I never get in accidents, except when I backed my boat into my sisters car and ripped her license plate in half. Maybe if the horn had worked I could have alerted someone to move the car, even though I never really even saw it. I probably should just honk at regular intervals, maybe every 30 seconds. That's probably what I'll do once I get the horn fixed. I want to mount it (them actually- there's 2 horns, a high and a low note, in order to produce a beautiful symphonic melody much like a choking moose and an angry mallard- ah, the sounds of nature) facing backwards, that way I can alert people who are following me too closely or are about to be inadvertently backed into. Other than that, I'm not sure what the horn is good for. I guess the horn may help prevent an accident, but I usually find the brakes suffice.

The horns actually work. There's a problem somewhere else. The fuse was blown, so it originally looked like an easy fix. But I replaced that and was still no closer to achieving that elusive safety.

The wire coming from the horn is yellow with a green stripe, but it's pretty much the electrical equivalent of Barry Sanders, juking back and forth and impossible to follow under the hood. I did find a yellow wire with green stripe (more or less- all the wires in my truck are actually kind of grayish at this point) ending at a terminal in the fire wall. I checked with my multimeter and found no continuity between it and the horn, which means either that's where the break is, or it's a totally separate wire. After cutting it I found out it's a totally separate wire. Who would have thought such a little wire would go to the distributor? Ironically, in an effort to pass the safety inspection I totally incapacitated my truck. I was able to fix it, although I'm afraid the next big pump is going to break apart my work and kill my truck. If only I had a horn to alert everyone.

See, you can't even tell where I fixed it.