Flavor, Thy Name is Manju

The blog is long overdue for a pastry review.  I like to think it's because I've been eating so well.  I've even been eating a lot of spinach (Cost-Co jumbo bags- a future blog subject), albeit occasionally deep-fried.  In fact, I haven't eaten a Zippy's donut in months!  But when I considered which delectable dessert to feature, I realized I have not been suffering from lack of bakery goods.  No, if there's one thing I know, it's sweets. And one delicious morsel stands above the rest; a little guy I like to call "taro manju."  I call it that because that's how the label at the bakery identifies it.
Now, legend tells that the taro manju was invented by Shaolin monks in the twelfth century AD, after two score years of meditation and opium smoking.  However, it featured such explosively delicious sweetness and irresistible flakiness, that it was not refined until the Kung Fu master Bruce Lee used taro manju as his sole source of nourishment.  In fact, young Bruce worked as a corporate accountant, where he was paid mainly in manju, and it is from this culinary treasure that he derived his kung fu power.
Just what is this edible vault of wisdom and virtue, you ask?  The taro manju is about the size of a ping-pong ball, yet weighs about the same amount as an official PBA bowling ball.  And as for the scent, well, the scent is unlike any balls that I know of.  It is also noteworthy that the taro manju is, in fact, purple.  Purple foods, the royalty of them all, the upper echelon of edible products.  The finest grape, the red grape... purple.  Blueberries... antioxidants, tartness, and according to Wikipedia a diverse range of micronutrients... in a purple package.  Grape nerds... the blue blood of all nerds... purple.  And so, too, is the taro manju.
Bite into a taro manju and let the flaky texture of the outer layer satisfy your pallette.  Feel your ability to scissor kick increase as you reach the soft center, gooey enough to rival any candy bar Hershey has ever made.  Restrain yourself from throwing out a mantis-style chop to the jugular as you imbibe in flavor filling you with a martial aura.  Or better yet, don't resist.  You could have chosen an azuki manju, or even the lowly custard, but chop away soldier of sundries, battler of the baked goods, for from this day forward you are one with the fourth dimension of taro manju.
So it sounds good, right?  You're probably wondering how you can get one yourself.  You're probably thinking it's going to be one of those deals where you have to snatch it out of the hand of your dojo master. You could do that, but he'd probably send your eye-socket through the back of your skull with a blazing-tiger-fist-crescent-punch.  So it's best just to go to that bakery on the Diamond Head side of Maunakea Street in Chinatown.  There, you can unlock the secret of the manju, provided that you bring 90 cents.  It's buy 2 get 1 free there, so maybe grab a macaroon and pizza roll while you're at it.  That's what Chuck Norris does.